Best Man's Speech

[Tommy Tommasino]

I've put this in Brain Zone because I need your brains!

Wondering if anyone knows any good one-liners related to nerves, marriage or groom's profession - architect. I'm the best man at a friends wedding and I speak english fine, but not very big fan of speaking in front of a huge group!

I just want to avoid all the cliché jokes that seem to fill all the videos I've seen on the internet, and that everyone has heard before. Even weddings I've been to in Malta have these exact same jokes.

Thanks for your suggestions

[Stianoux]

Well, you should probably try to personalize the jokes and make them relate to the bride and groom. Can't think of any jokes though.

[kcirp]

Whats the grooms name?

[Iain Keers]

I wouldn't bother with jokes. Try and think of some funny anecdotes/stories about things you've done with the groom. You can ask their family too, but imo it doesn't sound sincere. I did this in front of a crowd of hundreds of people who aren't even from my religious background (hence plenty of opportunity for embarrassment) and I found that the best way is to spend the last couple of minutes talking about how it's so obvious how much the couple love each other and so on. That really goes down well with any women present.

[Bob the terrorist]

Mention as many statistics about failed marriages as possible and mention that you don't want to be pessimistic, but this whole ceremony is probably not worth doing, but that we're here now so we'd better get on with it.

Also make as many offensive comments about architects as possible, then qualify your statements with "It's not that I have anything against architects. Some of my best friends are architects".

Then set fire to the cake. The next morning, put it all down to the drugs (of your choice).

[kcirp]

A cheeky grope of the bride always goes down well too

[Tommy Tommasino]

Well, you should probably try to personalize the jokes and make them relate to the bride and groom. Can't think of any jokes though.

I have the anecdotes and stories... its more the opening that I'm struggling with. A decent joke to break the ice is what I'm really after I suppose.

[Bob the terrorist]

Try something like "hello" as an opening.

[Sambo112]

Try something like "hello" as an opening.

[vip b10]

My brothers best man started with, well now we've all found the bar and got seats I can show him up

Went down well, although most of us were off our trolley by the time the speech started